Marie Claire has published an article about the practice of force-feeding young girls in Mauritania. This form of, what we perceive as, child abuse is performed in order to improve a girl’s chances at finding a husband, Apparently, Mauritania has some fairly archaic views on body size that stem from nomadic times. Basically, a woman was a status symbol for a man back in the day as much as it still is now. Men who had large wives were deemed to be wealthy, basically because it showed they could feed their wives. This concept is taken to an extreme when considering girls as young as 12 are sent to force feeding camps where they are manipulated into consuming 14.000-16.000 calories a day to become obese as fast as possible. In practice, it does not say anything about a man’s wealth anymore, because parents are sending their girls off to force-feeding camps before they are married off. Somehow, obesity is considered to be sexy in this culture. Unfortunately, there are serious health concerns associated with forcing young women to become obese.

Millions of women in the west try to get rid of, or prevent, stretchmarks. These annoying scars are considered the ultimate turn on in Mauritania! Everything the Western world depicts as unhealthy, unappealing, and grotesque is held in the highest regard in Mauritania. We know obesity causes a number of very serious diseases, and considerably shortens life-span, however, the Mauritanian traditions dictate that a girl is not beautiful or worth marrying unless she is tremendously obese. The culture is so ingrained that even women find a healthy body weight unattractive and “sickly”.

Although each culture has their own views on what is considered attractive or sexy, there is a problem when women are forced to adhere to a certain ideal and this ideal causes them (no pun intended) bodily harm. As much as anorexia might be a problem in our culture, obesity in Mauritania is a much bigger issue than we will ever face in North America.

This article is definitely one worth reading, and I look forward to hearing what you think in the comments.

Christmas has different meanings to different people. Some celebrate it from a spiritual perspective, others see it as an excuse to spend time with family and indulge in food, wine, and gifts.

Whatever your approach, here are the top ways to celebrate the holidays:

Stuff to do on your own around Christmas:

• Volunteer at a local soup kitchen
• Go see a play, concert, or ballet
• Rent movies
• Put together a ’singles Christmas party’
• Take your nieces and nephews ice skating (or to the beach if you’re lucky!)
• Do some Christmas decorating

Activities for One, Two, or Many!

Whether you’re on your own, spending time with a significant other, kids or extended family… here are some great activities to keep you busy.

• Make your own Christmas ornaments
• Make your own Christmas Cards, here is a nice idea
• Make a cool looking Christmas Wreath, for less traditional DIY wraths, use stuff around your house. Here is a geeky “PC Junk Christmas Wreath”
• Here’s where you need help, but worth the effort: set up musically controlled and synced Christmas lights.
• Dig out last year’s Christmas cards, and do something creative with them.
• Make your own Christmas gifts

Holiday Fun with Kids

If you have kids, keep them busy with some fun Christmas themed activities

• Make magic reindeer food
• Track Santa with NORAD
• Bake Christmas cookies
• Go ice skating
• Sing Christmas carols, if you have a piano and a fireplace it is an even more perfect ‘Christmas-y’ event

If you’re still at a loss for what to do, look at this list of 150 ways to save money and have some fun during the Holidays.

Ever wonder about the real meaning of “S.O.S”? Blogging Tips published some commonly used abbreviations, and S.O.S is short for the latin phrase “si opus sit.” Which means “if there is need” or “if necessary.”

Today I read an interesting article titles “Marriage and Money: Can Love Overcome Financial Incompatibility?” and I can’t help but link to it and wonder: how much financial incompatibility can someone live with? The situation described in the article sounds like a clear case of financial delusion and a sure trip into debt, bankruptcy and possible divorce… I hate to blame the girl, but from what I read it sounds like it is the woman who does not have a grip on reality, and is living in a dream.

Is it really her fault though, or did her life style given to her by her parents rob her from a sense of reality? After all, she doesn’t need to make ends meet with her own pay cheque.

Perhaps it is easier to be financially compatible once you can be financially realistic. Nothing gives you a better sense of reality than living on your own, without financial help from mom and pop.

This is without a doubt an interesting topic that can be explored endlessly!

After reading this article, and hearing many other similar stories, I’m starting to think financial incompatibility is almost as detrimental to a relationship as sexual incompatibility. At least in finances you can learn to moderate your spending, without feeling a pinch. However, with sex there really is little you can do to change your tastes. Having said that though, money habits can be as hard to break as a ‘undesirable’ mating ritual…

With tough economic times pinching the budget, at-home dates are bound to grow in popularity. However, you don’t want to sit on the couch staring at each other either.

Keeping your date indoors isn’t the only way to save money at home, but it’s a great start when you need to save money or reduce your debt load.

Here are some cheap indoor dates

• Not great in winter, but when weather permits stargazing is a great opportunity to just be silent, or talk about whatever is on your mind. In winter, take out a blanket and sit by your fireplace.
• Get a DVD at your local library or Blockbuster, and have a movie night at home. I prefer this to going to the theater anyways, because I love snuggling up on the couch with a blanket and some good food.
• Hold a poker night or play a (sexy) board game.
• Hold your own wine & cheese tasting: instead of shelling out big bucks, get a variety of different cheeses and some different wines, and set up your own wine tasting. Light some candles, and you’ve got yourself a romantic, and relatively cheap, evening.
• Pamper each other with a foot massage or back rub. Get some nice massage oil, light candles and take a relaxing bubble bath together. Life is stressful enough, just taking your time to unwind together can really help set a great mood.

An evening in doesn’t mean you are not having fun. I can think of many times I’ve gone out, spent money, and had a lousy time. Staying home, and setting up an evening filled with activities you like, you can have a load of fun, while taking the pressure off your pocketbook.

Of course there is nothing like balance. You can’t stay home every single date-night, and you can’t expect to go out every night either. Tipping the balance a bit more towards the home-front, can definitely save you a bundle of cash.

What do you like to do on an ‘at-home date’? What is your main reason for going out instead of staying in?

Are you between the ages of 15 and 29, and are you interested in a more cultural date than your standard “dinner-and-a-movie” package deal? There are some great programs if you live in the Toronto area. Here is a list of three cultural treats that cost $20 or less per ticket!

Dance Break

Dance Break is a membership program that allows you to buy tickets to the National Ballet for $20. It is accessible to 16 to 29 year olds, and completely free to join. As long as you are one of the ticket holders, you can also purchase an additional ticket at the same price for your date, regardless of his or her age.

Extra bonus: you get the best seats in the theatre, excluding the Grand Ring. Regularly, you would have to pay over $100 for some of the seats you can access at only $20.

The catch: you can only purchase tickets on the day of the performance, so they are subject to availability. But really… there’s always some extra room!

For an overview of the 2008-2009 program from the National Ballet, go here.

T-Soundcheck

The Toronto Symphony (TSO) has organized a program called T-Soundcheck. If you’re between 15 and 29 years of age, you can sign up to buy tickets to the TSO for only $12! Sometimes there are even special promotions that are cheaper. Right now, you can buy tickets to Mendelssohn & Haydn at $6 a piece!

In addition, there is also an option called Tsoundcheck plus. These are ticket packages where you get to choose four concerts to go to. These packages are available if you are between 15 and 34 years of age. You get to pick between main floor, mezzanine, or balcony seating for the concerts, and you are automatically assigned the best possible seats.

Dating someone older than 29? Not to worry; as long as you are below the age of 29 you can purchase an extra ticket, at the same low price, for anyone else accompanying you. Regardless of your date’s age! If you can’t find a date, you can even take your mother instead, and just pay $12 for the ticket.

You can find an overview of the 08-09 concert season here.

New Age: Canadian Opera Company

Although at the Canadian Opera Company everyone under the age of 30 can purchase $20 tickets as well, it appears from their website that each ticket holder has to be under the age of 30. This is a considerable difference between the other two programs mentioned before.

Nonetheless, it is still a great deal and if you must take someone who is older, you might be able to get a rush ticket on the day of the performance for the same price.

Benefit: You can buy your ticket a week before opening night. For each performance about 150 seats are reserved for the New Age program. The seats are in sections 3D, 4C, and 5B.
The Catch: If you are on a date, both of you have to be under the age of 30 and bring valid photo ID.
Because the seats available are restricted to certain sections, you have a better chance at getting a great seat with the t-soundcheck, or Dance Break, programs.

Opera for a New Age tickets are available in person at the Four Seasons Centre, 145 Queen St. W., Toronto, or through COC Online using the Promo Code “DEAL.” Tickets go on sale at 10 a.m.

Have You Attended?

Have you gotten cheap tickets through any of these programs? Where you happy with your seats, and which one is your favorite?

Solid perfume is a handy little tool you can carry around and apply when in a pinch. When you run into the next flirt-worthy individual, you can easily dab some sensuality behind your ears.

Solid perfume used to be far more popular in the old ages than it is today. You’ll be hardpressed to find it at your local department store, but not having it was unthinkable for women like Cleopatra and Nefertiti.

If you decide to make solid perfume for yourself, or even as party favors, you can personalize it by packaging it in monogrammed pillboxes, vintage compact boxes or any other original little container you can find!

Oil based perfume

Although any perfume can be made into a solid, oil based perfumes will last far longer. You can experiment with essential oils to create your own signature blend. Just take a few essential oils you like, and that match well together, and mix some drops of each together in a small bowl or container. Mix well, and stake a whiff. It it smells fabulous, take note of the proportions you used (for example, 2 drops lemongrass oil, to 1 drop orange blossom).

Matching scents

It is fairly simple to figure out which scents go well together: they generally belong to the same category. For example, different citrus-based oils will match. Such as lemongrass, orange blossom, and lemon.

Ingredients

Here is what you will need to make your own solid perfume:

- 1 tablespoon beeswax (grated)
- 1 tablespoon almond oil
- 8 drops of essential oils (blended)

Directions

Blend your essential oils together, below are some suggestions for an exotic blend, a spicy and a fruity blend.

To make the perfume, heat the beeswax gently in a small saucepan or heat-resistant container. Make sure it is fully melted, and add the almond oil.
Stir in the essential oils, and pour the mixture into a clean container with a lid.

Allow your mixture to cool completely. It will be solid, and you can rub it onto your skin using your fingers. You can also use a lipbalm tube for easy application, just don’t mix it up with your regular lipbalm!

To extend the life of your perfume, make sure your container is completely clean. If you are using a container from an old solid perfume, clean it out with soap and water. Let it dry fully, then use rubbing alcohol to disinfect it completely. Dry again, and now it is ready for reuse.

Essential oil blends

Fruity Scent
- 3 Drops of peach oil
- 3 Drops of sweet orange oil
- 2 Drops of chamomile oil

Spicy Scent
- 3 Drops of clove oil
- 3 Drops of sandalwood oil
- 2 Drops of cinnamon oil

Exotic Scent
- 5 Drops of vanilla oil
- 3 Drops of ylang-ylang oil

Few things can be more fun than getting down and dirty with some edible massage oil. Whether you cook this up on your own as a surprise, or involve your partner in the prep work, you can easily make your own edible massage oil. One clear benefit is that you can control the flavor yourself. Some people don’t really like the taste of most edible massage oils available in stores.

This edible massage oil is also latex friendly, and can therefore be used as a personal lubricant as well.

How to make your own massage oil

It all starts with a basic recipe. Flavor and other properties can be adjusted ‘to taste’. A basic massage oil recipe involves glycerine as a main ingredient. Glycerine you should easily be able to find in most pharmacies.

Here is the complete list of ingredients you will need:

• 1/4 cup glycerine
• 1/4 tsp. honey
• 1/4 tsp. clear vanilla extract (not brown vanilla)
• 1/4 tsp. flavoring (or to taste)

In addition, you can also add a drop of food coloring if you would like. This isn’t necessary, and just depends on how colorful you would like your massage oil to be. Careful not to add too much though, as it could stain sheets or clothes.

To make your edible massage oil, just mix all ingredients together.

This massage oil is:

• Water soluble
• Latex friendly
• It heats up when you blow on it

Stop nagging at each other to pick up the dry-cleaning or take out the garbage! Instead, trigger your competitive side by sharing a To-Do list online.

Task2GAther is an online task manager where you get to add and manage to-do lists and access them from anywhere you have an internet connection. Best of all: you get to share your to-do list with friends or family,… or a spouse. Instead of sticking notes on the fridge, update your shared to-do list online and perhaps Hubby will remember to pick up the dry cleaning on his way home, instead of leaving it for tomorrow.

Why share a to-do list?

Relationships are vulnerable to nagging and disappointment when the littlest expectations are not met. Instead of making the chores you both need to do a part of your daily conversation (when you should be spending quality time together instead!) make a shared to-do list of chores you are both responsible for. This makes it easier to take care of some random chores and make your boyfriend or girlfriend happy.

So you messed up… you know you’ve made a mistake and now you need to confess you are sorry. Whether you know you were wrong because your girl- or boyfriend is giving you the cold shoulder, or you just realized it all on your own, it is important to own up to your mistake and restore the relationship.

Simply saying “I’m sorry” is not always enough though. You may very well be sorry, but will you do it again? Have you done the same thing before? If you are a repeat-offender in the relationship game, then your “sorry” will be worth less and less over time.

Even if you have made the same mistakes again and again, if you finally realize you were wrong after all and want to make things right, you can simply change up how you say you are sorry.

How to apologize
Ever heard an apology that sounds a little like this: “I’m really sorry I called you a bitch, BUT…”?
The “but” might be followed with something like “you drove me to it”, or “I was very frustrated”, or a range of other excuses. This, my friend, is NOT an apology. Here you are saying you’re sorry, but you are actually shifting the responsibility over to the other person again. You are not saying sorry, you are instead blaming the other person for ‘making’ you do something you now regret.

You may still be forgiven, but the relationship will never be what it was, or could be.
A better way to apologize and actually restore your relationship, you truly have to own what you say, and mean it. It will depend on the person you are apologizing to in terms of how you will end up phrasing things. However, you will generally say you are sorry for a specific action or comment, and then explain you will try your best not to do it again.

If you are a repeat offender, then just saying you won’t be doing it again holds little value after three times. Your promise will be greeted with the “yeah yeah” it is worth. Instead, explain what you will to do prevent making the same mistake.

If you call your loved-one names, and although you would like to stop it seems you keep doing it again, make sure you distance yourself from a situation where this behavior is triggered. If you yell during fights about particular topics, then take some distance. Go for a walk, clear your head, and only return when you are calm enough to face this issue like an adult and talk it through.

Dealing with the emotional trigger
Having said that, it takes two to tango and if your partner acts like a child during a disagreement, then perhaps you should have a chat about communication skills. There isn’t a thing in the world that really requires raising your voice for, so if your name-calling is triggered by her yelling, then although you have to own up to your mistakes, you still need to find a way to peacefully discuss a hot topic. That’s for another article though…