Photo credit: dtcreations from morguefile.com

We’re just two months into the new year, and perhaps you have already fiscally recovered from the Holiday season. If you’re not quite there yet, or you’re getting tired of the dinner-and-a-movie routine where you sit across the table from each other and find out you have little to say.., here are some creative ideas you can use to keep some money in your account and break the monotonous boredom spell plaguing a lot of long term relationships.

1. Exercise together

We all know we eat to much and move too little. Most of the time people feel they are too tired for even mild exercise after getting home from work. As a result, either dinner out or hanging in front of the TV together to fall into a carbohydrate-induced coma is as exciting as the date is going to get. Ironic as it seems, exercise isn’t going to make you as tired as you think. In fact, exercise will actually give you energy, and can help improve your sex life. After all, if you are too tired to do anything in the evening, do you really think it’s going to get very exciting in the bedroom?

Some ideas to get you moving:

1. Beginners who feel low on energy can start by just walking along a shopping street and checking out the window displays. At night, chances are you won’t be spending much on this trip.
2. If you have a Wii-Fit, use it together! Get a new program (this is relatively low cost compared to other date ideas), and step out of your comfort zone. Try some Yoga, it will improve flexibility, and guess where you can apply those new found skills?
3. Train for a marathon together. If you’re already going to the gym separately, go together. Working towards a common goal strengthens the relationship.

If you need new fitness gear you can get 10% off at the Fitness Magazine apparel store with this coupon code: FIT10OFF. Another benefit of exercising together is that support from a partner or spouse is paramount in reaching fitness goals. If you’ve set a fitness goal for yourself this year, get your partner involved and kill two birds with one stone!

2. Abuse your library membership

You don’t necessarily need to visit the library together, but having a library membership gives you incredible advantages you may not be aware of yet. For example; pick up an exciting cook book if you are a foodie, and take your date into the kitchen. Try some new recipes, and enjoy together! Get a copy of the kamasutra, if you’re in a more adventurous mood. You can even find books that help you get through tricky home renovations together. Some of my best memories involve paint brushes and lots of mess, and again you’re working towards a common goal. Besides, women find handy men (or even not so handy men who try!) incredibly sexy.

3. Make day to day chores into a date

A date doesn’t have to consist of going out, spending money, or doing those things that are traditionally considered “date like”. Just like you can go rock climbing as a date, who says you cannot do more ‘mundane’ things, and enjoy each others company? The trick is in making day to day things more fun, not just by doing them together but by adding an extra element to the ‘chore’. For example, if you need to set up a budget for yourself, because you are saving for a vacation, new gadget, or just your future, why not get your partner’s input? Unless you severely disagree on financial matters (in which case you should really discuss it at some point), there is no reason not to involve each other in the process. Sit down together with a treat (lattee anyone?), and work through what you perceived before as being a chore. You’ll accomplish four things at the same time: you get it done, you have more fun at it (because presumably you have a partner with a good sense of humor), you spend quality time together, and you get to know more about the person you are with. You’d be amazed at how much you can find out about someone’s character by actually engaging in real day to day things together.

4. Explore your city with your date

If you live in a fair size city, I bet there are tons of neighborhoods and parks you have not explored yet. Why not take an afternoon and stroll through a new area you have never been to before? Try finding some free community events, such as concerts and art shows.

5. Teach your date a new skill or hobby!

Share your hobbies or teach each other a new skill. Do you know how to salsa? Have killer carpentry skills? Know your way around the golf course? Take your date for a spin around your (livingroom) dance floor, go into your garage and build something together or take her for a round on the driving range. Major benefit of this is that you are likely better at whatever you are teaching than your date, so you get to do a little showing off as well. And there is nothing wrong with looking good in your partner’s eyes!

Many of us, particularly those going steady, entertain the occasional shopping date together to the mall or plaza. For those who have become financially and mobility-challenged due to world economic woes and local weather conditions, a new trend has been developing: monitor-shopping. Similar to window-shopping, this trend trades going out for being in. Though it may not be as glamorous and typical as a trip to the mall. Snuggling next to your significant other while browsing internet shopping sites has its benefits. There is not so much pressure to dress up, there are no traffic delays or parking frustrations, and it is as easy to compare prices by having two windows open at once.

Aside from eliminating the hassle of venturing out in what could be bad weather and/or bad company, going on an e-tail shopping trip with your loved once can be a serious money saver. There are no pushy salespeople, rude patrons, or shrill holiday music piped into your skull. Being in a private home also allows for more intimacy. Having snacks at home eliminates expensive and typically unhealthy food court fare. The ability to comparison shop with the click of a mouse saves time and money. Some websites out there will even collect data for an item from different stores and give the best prices. Most stores lower or eliminate outright shipping costs to attract holiday shoppers. And in these days of FedEx and UPS, an order can even be delivered within a few days of purchase.

To further enhance the lure of forsaking the mall for the home, many e-tailers are offering coupon codes and promotional codes for the season. Some kind souls have even taken it upon themselves to compile these codes/deals, keep them updated, and post them by category or website. One example of this is www.shoebuycoupon.net that collects and posts up-to-date and valid free coupons for Shoebuy.com a big online shoe and luggage retailer. There are many other similar sites that cover coupons, promotions, sales, rebates, and other deals for every conceivable product out there. To use them, just click on the link, and follow the instructions, entering the given code where applicable.

With benefits such as these, more and more couples are looking to turn a trip to the mall into one to the computer, particularly in this economic and seasonal climate.

Marie Claire has published an article about the practice of force-feeding young girls in Mauritania. This form of, what we perceive as, child abuse is performed in order to improve a girl’s chances at finding a husband, Apparently, Mauritania has some fairly archaic views on body size that stem from nomadic times. Basically, a woman was a status symbol for a man back in the day as much as it still is now. Men who had large wives were deemed to be wealthy, basically because it showed they could feed their wives. This concept is taken to an extreme when considering girls as young as 12 are sent to force feeding camps where they are manipulated into consuming 14.000-16.000 calories a day to become obese as fast as possible. In practice, it does not say anything about a man’s wealth anymore, because parents are sending their girls off to force-feeding camps before they are married off. Somehow, obesity is considered to be sexy in this culture. Unfortunately, there are serious health concerns associated with forcing young women to become obese.

Millions of women in the west try to get rid of, or prevent, stretchmarks. These annoying scars are considered the ultimate turn on in Mauritania! Everything the Western world depicts as unhealthy, unappealing, and grotesque is held in the highest regard in Mauritania. We know obesity causes a number of very serious diseases, and considerably shortens life-span, however, the Mauritanian traditions dictate that a girl is not beautiful or worth marrying unless she is tremendously obese. The culture is so ingrained that even women find a healthy body weight unattractive and “sickly”.

Although each culture has their own views on what is considered attractive or sexy, there is a problem when women are forced to adhere to a certain ideal and this ideal causes them (no pun intended) bodily harm. As much as anorexia might be a problem in our culture, obesity in Mauritania is a much bigger issue than we will ever face in North America.

This article is definitely one worth reading, and I look forward to hearing what you think in the comments.

There is a fetish for anything and everything, but this one sounds a little odd. Sure, people use their computers to get off or shop for their favorite sexual toys, but do people seriously think of publishing a Tweet on Twitter while having sex?

Even the original article where I first heard about this admits that Twitter is basically just being used by people in the erotic/sex industry to ‘market’ themselves and their products. That’s an entirely different thing from Twittering while getting down and dirty…

Ever wonder about the real meaning of “S.O.S”? Blogging Tips published some commonly used abbreviations, and S.O.S is short for the latin phrase “si opus sit.” Which means “if there is need” or “if necessary.”

Today I read an interesting article titles “Marriage and Money: Can Love Overcome Financial Incompatibility?” and I can’t help but link to it and wonder: how much financial incompatibility can someone live with? The situation described in the article sounds like a clear case of financial delusion and a sure trip into debt, bankruptcy and possible divorce… I hate to blame the girl, but from what I read it sounds like it is the woman who does not have a grip on reality, and is living in a dream.

Is it really her fault though, or did her life style given to her by her parents rob her from a sense of reality? After all, she doesn’t need to make ends meet with her own pay cheque.

Perhaps it is easier to be financially compatible once you can be financially realistic. Nothing gives you a better sense of reality than living on your own, without financial help from mom and pop.

This is without a doubt an interesting topic that can be explored endlessly!

After reading this article, and hearing many other similar stories, I’m starting to think financial incompatibility is almost as detrimental to a relationship as sexual incompatibility. At least in finances you can learn to moderate your spending, without feeling a pinch. However, with sex there really is little you can do to change your tastes. Having said that though, money habits can be as hard to break as a ‘undesirable’ mating ritual…

With tough economic times pinching the budget, at-home dates are bound to grow in popularity. However, you don’t want to sit on the couch staring at each other either.

Keeping your date indoors isn’t the only way to save money at home, but it’s a great start when you need to save money or reduce your debt load.

Here are some cheap indoor dates

• Not great in winter, but when weather permits stargazing is a great opportunity to just be silent, or talk about whatever is on your mind. In winter, take out a blanket and sit by your fireplace.
• Get a DVD at your local library or Blockbuster, and have a movie night at home. I prefer this to going to the theater anyways, because I love snuggling up on the couch with a blanket and some good food.
• Hold a poker night or play a (sexy) board game.
• Hold your own wine & cheese tasting: instead of shelling out big bucks, get a variety of different cheeses and some different wines, and set up your own wine tasting. Light some candles, and you’ve got yourself a romantic, and relatively cheap, evening.
• Pamper each other with a foot massage or back rub. Get some nice massage oil, light candles and take a relaxing bubble bath together. Life is stressful enough, just taking your time to unwind together can really help set a great mood.

An evening in doesn’t mean you are not having fun. I can think of many times I’ve gone out, spent money, and had a lousy time. Staying home, and setting up an evening filled with activities you like, you can have a load of fun, while taking the pressure off your pocketbook.

Of course there is nothing like balance. You can’t stay home every single date-night, and you can’t expect to go out every night either. Tipping the balance a bit more towards the home-front, can definitely save you a bundle of cash.

What do you like to do on an ‘at-home date’? What is your main reason for going out instead of staying in?

Psychologist and dating expert, Dr. Diana Kirschner, has been a frequent guest on The Today Show, and the Morning Show. She has also appeared on Oprah and Good Morning America. In addition to being a featured dating expert at Yahoo! Personals, she also has her own website called lovein90days.com, for which she ordered this ReviewMe review.

The website features a blog with dating tips, daily love affirmations, and information on Dr. Kirschner’s upcoming book, appropriately titled “Love in 90 Days”. Lovein90Days also has features a dating forum. Currently it has twelve topics posted, and only a handful of responses. Clearly this should grow as the website becomes better known, but it looks like the discussion might have certain overtones: the book and the website cater exclusively to people (mostly women) who are currently single and looking for a meaningful relationship. It doesn’t address any concerns women have who are already in a relationship. There is nothing wrong with this, but it is important to note that the website focuses on one particular aspect of dating: finding a partner. 

One area where Dr. Kirschner could improve is her response time on the forum. It seems from the Blog that she has a blogging assistant, so although we do not expect Dr. Kirschner to respond to all discussions herself, it is too bad that one woman with a dilemma posted her problem on the dating forum on October 24th, and has yet to see any response from either the community or Dr. Kirschner herself. As mentioned before: we do not expect Dr. Kirschner to be able to respond to all questions, but at this stage of her website where the forum community is remarkably small, it would reinforce her image as an expert if she would address these questions personally. This would encourage these posters to come back and actively participate in the discussions to come.

Dr. Diana says, “I’ll be posting the latest techniques, dating tips and relationship advice for successful online and off-line dating, research on love relationships and up-to-the-minute discoveries that can help you create the love you want. I invite you to become regular readers of my dating blog. Most importantly, I want to have a dialogue with those of you who are courageous enough to make a love relationship a high priority in your lives. My purpose is to help you on your journey as I’ve been helped on mine.”

If you are interested in Dr. Diana’s book, the website offers a great opportunity to pre-order it at a discounted price. Visitors can also sign up for free for the Love in 90 Days e-tips, which deliver Dr. Diana’s tips to your mailbox. As far as the website goes: it is an interesting tool for people currently looking for a partner. The blog offers very general dating advice geared at people who are single, and the website itself focuses very much on Dr. Diana’s upcoming book. All in all it is a good resource for this niche of the dating market, keeping in mind that the website is build to promote the book and Dr. Diana herself. She offers some good advice in the blog, but the overtone of the advice relates to ways you can feel more confident and better about yourself. There is no active discussion, yet, of how you could find your dream partner. For this, perhaps you would need to look at the book.

Do you know a dating hotspot? A great gift idea? Or a brilliant recipe?

Are you a writer or  expert looking for an additional outlet for your work? We are welcoming new talent onto our team, and would be happy to hear from you with article ideas or submissions. Send your thoughts to datingsos [at] gmail.com

Cheers,

DatingSOS editorial team

Welcome to the newly redesigned DatingSOS.com! We changed our color scheme and layout to make this website feel more like the way it was intended: an easy to navigate online magazine.

Let us know what you think of the new lay out and color scheme in the comments section!

Happy dating!